Let's discuss the following question:
When was the last time you asked somebody for a favor?
Read the following text:
When making requests, it's important to think about three things:
- POWER: Does the listener have power?
- WEIGHT: Is the request "heavy" (is the request big?)
- DISTANCE: Are you close to the listener?
If the listener has power AND/OR the request is a big request AND/OR the person isn't close, you will use polite language when making a request.
Watch the following video:
Question: What did Penny ask Leonard to do for her?
Read the following conversation:
Hey Ryan, could you lend me a pen for a minute?
Sure, here you go!
Question: What's the Power, Weight and Distance of this request?
Read the following conversation:
Hey Ryan, you know this weekend I’m
going to Hawaii for a week right?
Oh yeah, I totally forgot!
Do you think you could
watch my dog while I’m away? I’ll defintely
bring you home an awesome souvenir!
Sure! That’s no problem! I'll bring him to
my house for the week.
- Question: What's the Power, Weight, and Distance of this request?
- Question: How is this request different from the first conversation?
Read the following conversation:
Sorry Ryan, can I talk to you for a minute?
Sure. How can I help you?
I know it’s a really busy time for us right
now but next Friday is my sister’s wedding.
Ok...
I was wondering if it would be possible
for me to have the day off to go to the
wedding? I can come in on Saturday to
make up for the missed time.
- Question: What's the Power, Weight, and Distance of this request?
- Question: How do you think Ryan will answer?
View the following image:
TIP: If the person is close and the request is pretty light and the request is small, you can be super casual.
Example: Could you lend me a pen?
Example: Could you lend me a pen?
- ... pass me the water?
- ... hold my phone?
- ... send me the pics from today?
- ... wait for 5 minutes?
View the following image:
TIP: If the person is less close or the request is heavier or the listener has some power, you might want to show that you understand their situation first, then make your request.
Example: I know you're busy this weekend but would you be willing to help me paint my fence for an hour on Saturday?
Example: I know you're busy this weekend but would you be willing to help me paint my fence for an hour on Saturday?
- ... watch my dog this weekend?
- ... help me put my new shelf together?
- ... come with me to Ikea this weekend?
- ... help me move next Friday?
View the following image:
TIP: If you have a work relationship, and/or the person has power, and/or the request is large, you can add an explanation, use more formal language and in some cases you might make an offer with your request.
Example: I know it’s a really busy time for the company but my sister is getting married next week and I'd like to help her prepare for the wedding. Would it be possible for me to have an extra day off next week? I can work next Saturday to make up for it.
Example: I know it’s a really busy time for the company but my sister is getting married next week and I'd like to help her prepare for the wedding. Would it be possible for me to have an extra day off next week? I can work next Saturday to make up for it.
- ... reschedule our afternoon meeting?
- ... change the location of our meeting?
- ... finish work early on Friday?
- ... change room to a non-smoking room?
Read the following text:
Let's practice!
- Ask to borrow your brother's Ferrari for your wedding.
- Ask your coworker to help you setup for a meeting.
- Ask hotel staff to change your room to a non-smoking room.
- Ask a stranger to take your picture.
- Ask your friend for $1.
- Ask your friend for $100.
- Ask your coworker to resend an email to you.
- Ask your boss for a day off. It's a busy time at work.
- Ask a customer to resend you their order.
- Ask your friend to watch your dog for a weekend.
- Ask a customer to reschedule a meeting.
- Ask hotel staff tocheck-in 2 hours early.
- Ask your friend to help you set up your computer.